How to Date a Feminist - Tips and Advice

If there's one group of women that makes themselves nearly impossible to date it's the feminists. How can a guy be expected to find true love with a woman who thinks he's a chauvinistic, wage stealing, power hungry, archaic disgrace of a slob? Yes I know that “girl power” girls are really in a fight for equality as opposed to superiority, but sometimes that kind of thing can be hard to differentiate, particularly for a man who's spent his whole life learning a certain way of thinking and acting that in some ways goes squarely against feminist ideals.  

TIP:

TIP: Visit MillionaireMatch to meet women looking for men to date.

Before you even dive into this endeavor, you'll need to get a better understanding of what makes a feminist a feminist. Feminism, in its most basic form, is essentially a movement to attain complete equality for women (though a feminist would probably describe it as a movement to attain equality for everyone). While in today's society some (women as well as men) may scoff or laugh at the idea of feminism, one must always remember that women were once pretty much considered property, and at that point the notion of feminism was probably also laughed at, so this era of women's rights activism being an arguably questionable passion has been a long time coming. Feminists today have strong stands on such issues as gender discrimination in the work place (including the fact that women still on average make considerably less money than men), women's health, domestic violence, abortion rights, women's rights in third world countries and many other (mainly social) issues. In a more big picture sense, feminists feel that women's roles in society are largely determined by the sometimes biased prerogatives of men. To put it in an overly simplified context: feminists consider the gender roles in today's society to be unfair and would rather see them done away with entirely.



There are certainly legitimate counterarguments for many feminist stances, but it's in your best interest when first dating a feminist to keep any anti-feminism views you may have to yourself. It's comparable to religion or politics in some ways; just because you're not religious doesn't mean you should never date a Christian, and just because you're a Republican doesn't mean you can't date a Democrat. In both scenarios (as well as in the case of dating a feminist), you should get to know the person and not base your judgment off of their viewpoints or opinions, which are generally subjective and open to interpretation anyway. This isn't to say that you can never have a frank discussion with your girlfriend the feminist about feminism and its pros and cons, but this is a conversation that should not be had until she knows what kind of person you are. The last thing you want to do here is make yourself seem like the chauvinistic male which she has spent so much of her life fighting against. While you may not consider yourself to be that, it's possible that you can cast yourself in such a light by voicing opinions about the illegitimacy of feminism too early. Remember that feminism usually comes from a good place in the heart of woman, in that she just wants to be treated with respect. If your overwhelming passion for anti-feminism is a driving force in your life (I've never met anyone like this) then you just shouldn't date a feminist to begin with.

Part of respecting a feminist's views will come in the form of you taking a step back from some of the things you're used to in the dating scene. Opening doors (car, restaurant, etc.; I'd say your home would be an exception but even there you might as well just walk through and let her close the door herself) for your date and paying the dinner bill (or paying anything for that matter; feminists love the term “institutionalized prostitution” to describe men spending money on women)  for example may not be seen as endearing in the feminist's eye; so take advantage of the opportunity to relax, save some money and treat the situation more like a guy's night out than a formal date (at least in the sense you're accustomed to).  

Probably the best part about dating a feminist is that you never have to worry about being cool. The more a feminist can see herself in you the more likely she is to feel her own beliefs vindicated in who she has chosen as a date. There's no reason to ever let yourself feel emasculated when you date a feminist (she will never see it like that, so there's no reason why you should!) just know when going into the relationship that you have the green light to be as nerdy or girly as you want (if you're doing it to make her like you then it's really just you being a sly devil anyway). So if you want to order a margarita, watch a cartoon, or take a bath then just go for it. Likewise, if you'd rather vacuum than mow the lawn because it's hot outside, just say so; she'll probably love that side of you. The loosening of gender roles can have its advantages for everyone, so when dating a feminist there's just no reason not to capitalize on things which could make your life a bit easier (which really is a major part of the whole feminist “equality” argument).

Feminists, at the end of the day, are not really too much unlike their non-feminist counterparts. Most women want to be loved, respected and treated fairly; there are just those out there who take the dedication towards such a cause more seriously than others. A woman should never be defined by anything other than who she is to you (and the same goes for a feminist's assessment of any given man), so play along with your feminist's idealism for a bit and when she sees that you're not like every other man, middle ground can likely be reached.